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patricia11
Philosopher

Sure the original thread is on the "Other Hobbies and Interests" section but nobody seems to be looking there, so I've started it off again here. Make sense to me......

 

1. Anyone fancy a chunk of my homemade GRAPE and gooseberry tart?

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
Good Idea :)

Does your tart have any PEARS in it?
patricia11
Philosopher

FEARS of a grape growers stampede have persuaded me not to add pears to my tart in any shape or form

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
yes, one HEARS they can turn quite nasty
patricia11
Philosopher

I have HEARD rumours of violence among the Chardonnay community.

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
they will DREAD each time that happens
patricia11
Philosopher

Stale BREAD dipped in rancid Chardonnay is not a particularly effective  weapon

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
no, a BROAD sword would be much better
patricia11
Philosopher

A fearsome BROOD of local Vikings could help with weapons if need be.

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
we could knock at a few of their DOORS if necessary then
patricia11
Philosopher

Best wear a peg on your nose as the ODOUR from many sweaty Viking long johns can be overpowering

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
that should get ROUND that problem
patricia11
Philosopher

The SOUND of rusty Nordic bagpipes and neutered cats from within the Viking dwelling may be a tad off-putting

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
we could take refuge among the sand DUNES
patricia11
Philosopher

True, but they would have to be a long way off to avoid hearing  the screech of ear-splitting Viking bagpipe TUNES

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
people should UNITE to do something about the noise
patricia11
Philosopher

UNITY in all things, that's what I say.

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
patricia11
Philosopher

Has anyone tried TYING a Viking maiden to a bed post recently?

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Gromit
Community Star
that wouldn't be a very nice THING to do to her
patricia11
Philosopher

SomeTHINK that  genuine Viking maidens are hard to find these days.

I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.